NIRVANA, CA — I woke up with a start this morning.
The sun was shining, but I didn’t have much energy left.
I sat on my front porch, my eyes on the floor and my stomach rumbling, trying to digest my breakfast and find a way to avoid going outside.
My phone vibrated with a text, which read: “Theres no place to go, you can’t get back in.”
My anxiety was growing.
I was nervous.
It was 3:30 a.m. on a Friday, and I knew I would be out by noon.
The only thing I could think of to do is to try to make it to work, which meant leaving work at 3 a.ms.
So I started to get nervous.
I walked into my office and opened the door, and the sun came out, and everything changed.
It felt like the sun was just shining through.
As I stepped into my cubicle, I felt the pressure building in my stomach, the tension building up in my legs, the anxiety building up inside.
The thought that I would never get home to the apartment I was renting for the weekend seemed more and more real.
The next thing I knew, I was sitting in the cubicle at my desk, staring at my screen and not really knowing what to do.
“What should I do?”
I asked myself, thinking that I should either leave the office and get ready for work or go home.
I took a deep breath and tried to think about what I should do.
What was I supposed to do?
If I went home, I would miss my job.
I don’t want to go home without my job because of anxiety.
But I’m so tired and so stressed that I didn’ t want to be home.
What should I be doing?
What should my husband do?
I was worried.
I’m going to miss work, but is that the best thing I can do?
Should I get an Uber to get home?
Should we stay in and take a nap?
How can I relax in my office when I can’t leave the apartment?
I decided to get up and leave my cubicles at work, hoping to start my day by working out, which I did the next day.
I made it to my office that evening, and after going through my morning routine, I realized that I wasn’t feeling as anxious as I thought.
I woke early and tried my best to do the best I could, but my body wasn’t responding to the rest of my day.
It wasn’t until I started taking a walk around the neighborhood that I started feeling better.
I felt like I could go anywhere in the neighborhood without feeling anxious, which was amazing.
It took me a while to find the right routine, but once I did, I found that I could relax more.
I went to work that day, feeling so good and relaxed.
When I woke the next morning, I couldn’t wait to get to work.
I did my usual routine, and went to my usual desk, but when I came back to my cubical, the sun still shone.
My stomach still felt tight, but that didn’t bother me.
The stress of work, being home alone with my family, and worrying about not having enough energy to get my day started was completely gone.
I knew it was important to try and get back to work before going back to sleep, so I went back to bed at 4 a.s.m., and within an hour, I woke to the sound of my phone ringing.
“Where are you?” the voice asked.
I looked down to see my name on the screen.
It read: NIRVA, CA.
It sounded like I was getting a call from a friend, but it wasn’t the normal phone call that I get everyday.
It seemed like a friend had called.
The phone call was coming from my mom.
“How is your day going?”
I answered the call.
You got a really good day.”
The phone went to voicemail and I was taken aback by how calm the voice sounded.
I had been having this anxiety for so long, and it was finally over.
I started crying and trying to make myself feel better, but the voice was still asking me, “Are you ready to go to work?”
The feeling that I was ready to work felt like a kick in the gut.
“Okay, honey, go to your cubicle and I’ll see you at work.”
I didn, and when I got to my work I was surprised to find my cubicon was empty.
“Oh, I’m sorry, but this is where I’m supposed to be,” I said to my boss.
The feeling of being home was so overwhelming that I had to leave my office at 4:30 that afternoon.
I still had a few things to do, so the next thing that